Oh, I hate myself!
There I was, in front of her house, her door standing wide open to let me know she was riding -- but she was nowhere to be seen. So, I honked my horn, and when I figured that I'd waited long enough, I started to drive away.
Good drivers have the ability to drive away and not look back. It's sort of like when a cute little bunny rabbit jumps out from the bushes right in front of the bus, and you don't even think twice about swerving to miss it. You block out the riders' screams yelling at you not to hit the little bugger, and you keep driving on knowing full well the bunny will jump out of the way -- or not!
But when I heard the other riders yelling that she was coming out the door, I did the only thing I could do -- I stopped. And then I backed up. And then I opened the door to let her in. I think I even said, "Good morning."
Oh, I hate myself.
And I stop for rabbits, too.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Here's the plan...
Tomorrow, just for giggles, let's be nice to everyone -- no matter what!
When the riders get on the bus, say, "Good Morning," nice and loud, like you mean it. When they get off at school, yell out, "Have a great day at school!" In the afternoon, greet everyone at the door with a big smile, and when they're all aboard, yell out, "Let's Go Home!" (Be ready for thunderous applause!)
As the students step off the bus, say, "See ya tomorrow!" and maybe even wave at them as they walk away, because you know they're going to turn around to see if you've gone crazy. Wave nice and big, with a smile, again like you mean it.
Don't know if any of this will help, but I know it couldn't hurt!
Drive safe, and have a great route!
When the riders get on the bus, say, "Good Morning," nice and loud, like you mean it. When they get off at school, yell out, "Have a great day at school!" In the afternoon, greet everyone at the door with a big smile, and when they're all aboard, yell out, "Let's Go Home!" (Be ready for thunderous applause!)
As the students step off the bus, say, "See ya tomorrow!" and maybe even wave at them as they walk away, because you know they're going to turn around to see if you've gone crazy. Wave nice and big, with a smile, again like you mean it.
Don't know if any of this will help, but I know it couldn't hurt!
Drive safe, and have a great route!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Life lessons
It takes a special kind of person to drive a school bus. Not just any Joe or Jane can do it, and most of us wouldn’t even try.
But those who feel the calling – those who dare to get behind the big wheel and travel the back roads with a bus load of young people who believe a school bus is just recess on wheels – well, those people end up learning a lot of life lessons, and are reminded of them each and every day.
1. The first thing a school bus driver learns is that to be early is to be on time, and to be on time is to be late – but that only applies for cranking up the school bus. On the route, everything changes: to be early is to be yelled at because the kids aren’t ready, and to be late is okay, but not too late, because then the riders start to freak out and wonder if they’ve missed the bus.
Time is both a friend and an enemy. You can’t get more, but you’ll never have less than what’s given to you. It’s best to use it wisely.
2. The next thing a school bus driver learns is not to judge a person by the house they come out of. Some kids live in big houses with landscaped yards and nicely-trimmed hedges. Some kids live in small houses with yards that haven’t been mowed in months, with washing machines and toilets peaking out from behind the weeds.
Nice “things” don’t guarantee nice people. Sometimes the most polite and helpful riders come from the “wrong side of the tracks.”
3. A school bus driver learns that sometimes passing the buck is not an option. Yes, their main job is to keep their eyes on the road, making sure their riders get to where they’re going safely, but it's also their job to keep an eye on Little Johnny who looks like he wants to take out his Elmer’s Glue and squeeze a glob of it into Little Susie’s hair before he gets to his stop.
“It’s not my job” is a phrase spoken by people who don’t care. “Sit down, turn around, and put that stuff back in your backpack before I turn this bus around and take you back to your momma” is a phrase that has “love” glued all over it.
4. A school bus driver can learn a lot from squirrels. Most squirrels have one goal – to dart across the road in front of a school bus without getting flattened like a pancake. But some of those little buggers stop in the middle of the road and get all wishy-washy about which way to run. It’s funny to watch from the driver’s seat, but I’m sure those little squirrels are scared out of their ever-loving minds.
Having a goal, or direction, is the key to success. Being all “willy-nilly” is the surest way of getting squashed.
5. A school bus driver learns that it’s best not to drink a lot of coffee before heading off on a route. Some of those roads are long and bumpy, and when the bladder calls, it does not want to be denied. But a driver can’t just stop the bus and “take care of business” with kids on board, and not very many families will open up their homes to let a crazy bus driver use “the facilities.”
It’s best to “take care of business” before the business takes care of you.
6. And finally, one of the most important things a bus driver learns is patience. Patience for kids who remember they left their backpack in the house and they’ll “be right back.” Patience for getting behind a tractor that can only go 10 mph. Patience for kids who fall asleep and miss their stop. Patience for Little Emily who is singing “Jingle Bells” over and over again, and she only knows the first verse.
If you search for the word “patience” in the dictionary, it will refer you to “school bus driver.”
I’ve been driving a school bus for almost 20 years. Some days are good. Some days not so much. But every day is a learning experience. As a matter of fact, just the other day I learned a cow can be vengeful, sarcastic and down-right rude when it has to get up from its dry, comfortable resting place on the road – just because a school bus comes along.
If I see you in Wal-Mart, I’ll tell you all about it.
But those who feel the calling – those who dare to get behind the big wheel and travel the back roads with a bus load of young people who believe a school bus is just recess on wheels – well, those people end up learning a lot of life lessons, and are reminded of them each and every day.
1. The first thing a school bus driver learns is that to be early is to be on time, and to be on time is to be late – but that only applies for cranking up the school bus. On the route, everything changes: to be early is to be yelled at because the kids aren’t ready, and to be late is okay, but not too late, because then the riders start to freak out and wonder if they’ve missed the bus.
Time is both a friend and an enemy. You can’t get more, but you’ll never have less than what’s given to you. It’s best to use it wisely.
2. The next thing a school bus driver learns is not to judge a person by the house they come out of. Some kids live in big houses with landscaped yards and nicely-trimmed hedges. Some kids live in small houses with yards that haven’t been mowed in months, with washing machines and toilets peaking out from behind the weeds.
Nice “things” don’t guarantee nice people. Sometimes the most polite and helpful riders come from the “wrong side of the tracks.”
3. A school bus driver learns that sometimes passing the buck is not an option. Yes, their main job is to keep their eyes on the road, making sure their riders get to where they’re going safely, but it's also their job to keep an eye on Little Johnny who looks like he wants to take out his Elmer’s Glue and squeeze a glob of it into Little Susie’s hair before he gets to his stop.
“It’s not my job” is a phrase spoken by people who don’t care. “Sit down, turn around, and put that stuff back in your backpack before I turn this bus around and take you back to your momma” is a phrase that has “love” glued all over it.
4. A school bus driver can learn a lot from squirrels. Most squirrels have one goal – to dart across the road in front of a school bus without getting flattened like a pancake. But some of those little buggers stop in the middle of the road and get all wishy-washy about which way to run. It’s funny to watch from the driver’s seat, but I’m sure those little squirrels are scared out of their ever-loving minds.
Having a goal, or direction, is the key to success. Being all “willy-nilly” is the surest way of getting squashed.
5. A school bus driver learns that it’s best not to drink a lot of coffee before heading off on a route. Some of those roads are long and bumpy, and when the bladder calls, it does not want to be denied. But a driver can’t just stop the bus and “take care of business” with kids on board, and not very many families will open up their homes to let a crazy bus driver use “the facilities.”
It’s best to “take care of business” before the business takes care of you.
6. And finally, one of the most important things a bus driver learns is patience. Patience for kids who remember they left their backpack in the house and they’ll “be right back.” Patience for getting behind a tractor that can only go 10 mph. Patience for kids who fall asleep and miss their stop. Patience for Little Emily who is singing “Jingle Bells” over and over again, and she only knows the first verse.
If you search for the word “patience” in the dictionary, it will refer you to “school bus driver.”
I’ve been driving a school bus for almost 20 years. Some days are good. Some days not so much. But every day is a learning experience. As a matter of fact, just the other day I learned a cow can be vengeful, sarcastic and down-right rude when it has to get up from its dry, comfortable resting place on the road – just because a school bus comes along.
If I see you in Wal-Mart, I’ll tell you all about it.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Hey cows -- Mooooooove it!
It used to be when I came to the cow pasture on my route, the cows would mosey on along, get out of the road, head to their hay, or go wherever cows go and do whatever cows do.
But something's changed.
The last few mornings, after I've crossed the first set of cattle guards, I find the cows in the middle of the road, just plopped down as if the road was theirs, and they give me these nasty looks as if they're saying, "What? You expect me to move now that I've gotten all comfortable? Go around!"
I've actually had to honk at them to get them moving, and they get up, but I know what they're thinking. They're thinking, "Listen, bud, they're more of us than you, and we could take you, but you're yellow and that's worse than being a cow!"
I swear I saw a cow roll its eyes at me and look at me in disgust.
And their revenge? They leave great plopping "deposits" all over the road, and I have to drive through them, and those "deposits" have a way of compounding with interest, until I'm more interested in putting a side of beef on the hood to take home to the freezer instead of being a nice little bus driver and honking the horn until they move.
But, I guess the riders would blab about how, "He just mowed one down and tied it on the hood, and that's why we're all late for school. Honest. We wouldn't lie about something like THAT!"
Oh well, nobody said life would be fair!
But something's changed.The last few mornings, after I've crossed the first set of cattle guards, I find the cows in the middle of the road, just plopped down as if the road was theirs, and they give me these nasty looks as if they're saying, "What? You expect me to move now that I've gotten all comfortable? Go around!"
I've actually had to honk at them to get them moving, and they get up, but I know what they're thinking. They're thinking, "Listen, bud, they're more of us than you, and we could take you, but you're yellow and that's worse than being a cow!"
I swear I saw a cow roll its eyes at me and look at me in disgust.
And their revenge? They leave great plopping "deposits" all over the road, and I have to drive through them, and those "deposits" have a way of compounding with interest, until I'm more interested in putting a side of beef on the hood to take home to the freezer instead of being a nice little bus driver and honking the horn until they move.
But, I guess the riders would blab about how, "He just mowed one down and tied it on the hood, and that's why we're all late for school. Honest. We wouldn't lie about something like THAT!"
Oh well, nobody said life would be fair!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Lost in Solitaire
The other day, while I was waiting for my afternoon kids to board for their afternoon trip back home, I started thinking about how much time I actually waste on the computer, playing silly computer games like Hearts and Solitaire. But I don't just play them just to pass the time, no sir! When I play, I mean business, and I make up little stories about pit bosses and bouncers and hookers named Trixie to make the game interesting. This audio-podcast explains it all!
The Bathrobe Monologues
The Bathrobe Monologues
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